Definition - Bondage ( n) (bon-dij)

1) The state of being under the control of another person
2) sexual practice that involves physically restraining (by cords or handcuffs) one of the partners

Ok, so that's what the dictionary says, but what's it all about?

Well it ain't chaining the wife to the sink!

Bondage and associated activities are generally a form of fantasy play, where one person is normally restrained by another and usually at their mercy. Then sexually arousing activities may follow, which can range from tickling with feathers to various forms of punishment incorporating paddles, whips, nipple clamps, and other BDSM devices. Bondage can incorporate alot more though and may not even include restraints or physical contact, but meerly require one partner to be the dominator (i.e. master) and the other to be the submissive (i.e. slave)

For any one who is thinking of experimenting for the first time with bondage, we have provided some ideas and guidance below.

Trust
This is probably the biggest factor in any bondage type role play as by definition, one of you will be restrained and at the mercy of the other. You must have complete trust between you and should not use this as a method for self fulfilment, but always consider the enjoyment of the other person. Many people will of tried some light experimentation with tying their partners hands up or using a blindfold while they tease or pleasure them.

Why?
Different people do it for different reasons. Some will enjoy the power of being in control, some will enjoy being at the mercy of another, some can relax and enjoy being pleasured without the concern of simultaneous pleasuring of their partner, and some just get a rush from being tied up! When one of the body's senses is disabled, the others will heighten to make up for it so using a blindfold can increase the body's sensitivity to sexual contact. For whatever reason it may be that you want to try it, here are some simple steps and safety guidelines to get you started:

Starting out
Firstly try a blindfold during sexual foreplay or intercourse. Then you can try one partner tied up with something that is easily broken and then the other partner teases them. This can help with trust as the restrained partner has the re-assurance that they can escape if they want to. Maybe then you could step up to metal or leather handcuffs and ankle cuffs (click here to see our range of bondage gear). Don't forget that the body can react with quite intense sensations to other toys like nipple clamps or even ice cubes seductively run over the body.

You can develop the role play aspect and fantasy element of the games to increase the enjoyment.

Many bondage/BDSM game senarios work purely on the role play aspect of one partner being the dominator and the other being the submissive. Some examples of both restraint games and none restraint games are shown below.

Some ideas for role play games:

Surprise Beginnings
This is a good way to start a scenario or an evening's activities. When the submissive is away, perhaps at work or at the store, take a brown paper bag and place a set of restraints (ankle cuffs, wrist cuffs, or the like), or a blindfold, or both, in it. Set the paper bag near the bedroom door (or, if you have enough privacy, near the door to the house!), and tape a sheet of paper with instructions on it on the door. The sheet should instruct the submissive to strip completely, open the bag, and put on the restraints/cuffs/blindfold before opening the door. The submissive is not allowed through the door until he or she is properly prepared.

Security Guard
The setting here is straightforward: the dominant is a security guard, and the submissive has committed some infraction--perhaps trespassing on secure property while walking home late one night.

The security guard confronts the offender, and takes the offender back into the security room, where the offender is subject to a humiliating strip search. The security guard explains that standard policy is for the police to be notified and the offender is to be booked for criminal trespass, but that other arrangements can be made; at this point, wishing to avoid a night in jail, the offender does whatever the security guard instructs.

As a variation, the security guard is required by company policy to videotape the search, to prevent liability problems; after the guard and the trespasser reach their agreement, the guard continues to videotape the trespasser while the guard molests him or her, just to add to the humiliation...

The Hostage
This scenario is best with some prior planning; arrange a night in a cheap hotel or similar at the edge of town.

In this scenario, the submissive is an innocent victim, and the dominant is a desperate criminal. The dominant carjacks the victim's car to escape police, not allowing the victim time to escape and driving too fast for the victim to jump out of the car. The carjacker drives to a motel on the edge of town, where he or she decides to take advantage of the turn of events by having their wicked way with the victim in the run-down motel room.

Dining Out
This one explores the psychology of power exchange. One of you agrees to be the submissive for the evening; the other is the dominant, the maestro, the one whose word is law. You go out for an evening on the town--a formal dinner, perhaps, and maybe a movie afterward. The dominant should establish a few rules beforehand; for example, the submissive is not allowed to speak to or have any contact with anyone except the dominant. So, for example, when you're ordering your meals in the restaurant, the submissive cannot tell the waiter what to bring; he or she must tell the dominant, who will then tell the waiter. (Or, you can turn this around; the dominant speaks to nobody except through the submissive.) Rules like this are fun to play with, because while the people around you may notice something is going on, they won't know exactly what. As the evening progresses, the dominant can find all kinds of delightfully subtle ways to tease the submissive.

Perhaps he'll tell her to go to the ladies room and remove her underwear, the better to tease her in a darkened cinema. Maybe he'll order her not to come back out until she has thoroughly aroused herself.

Or perhaps she'll have to wear a sex toy of some sort (remote controlled?) under her clothes. Maybe during dinner he can whisper to her what he's going to do to her when they get back home.

The key to enjoying this kind of scenario is to keep it quiet; it's great fun if nobody else has the slightest idea what's going on. (To an aroused submissive, it will seem like it's obvious and that everybody knows what's happening--and that's part of the fun!)

Other ideas:

Sensation Play
This is a technique suited for anyone with a very sensual approach to sexual exploration. The idea is very simple; start by blindfolding your lover (and tying him or her down, if that sounds like fun to you), then subjecting him or her to a wide variety of different sensations. For example, you may stroke your lover's body with ice, or drip hot wax on his or her body, or caress your lover's skin with soft fur, coarse sandpaper, and other textures.

Human Sex Doll
This is a good way to explore your partner and get your feet wet in D/s. The premise is simple: the submissive partner is a living sex toy, and allows the dominant to put him or her into any position and take any action, and the submissive partner remains completely passive throughout. The submissive partner simply remains in whatever position the dominant places him or her into, and does not take an active role in any way whatsoever as the dominant explores the submissive.

Punishment Box
A punishment box is a good way to keep a submissive in line. Make a set of cards, each of which has an erotic punishment written on it. If the submissive misbehaves, he or she has to draw a punishment at random from the box. Or, if you prefer, make your submissive create the cards--preferably while aroused, as people who are aroused will think of devious things that people who aren't aroused won't.

Of course, the contents of a punishment box will depend on the people involved. One man's idea of cruel and unusual punishment is another man's idea of a great weekend; tastes vary, and limits vary too. Some basic punishments might include:

• The submissive is not allowed to orgasm for the next two days.
• The submissive will be turned over the dominant's knee and spanked.
• The submissive must wear clamps on his or her nipples for half an hour.
• The submissive will be brought to the edge of orgasm, then stop.

And so on. They can be as mild or as kinky as you like

You can even make a game out of creating the punishment box! Tell the submissive to create a certain number of punishments each day. The dominant will review each one to make sure it is actually a punishment, and reject any that are really rewards in clever disguise. Of course, the submissive will need to be punished for each rejected card...

Meta-punishments can be fun, too. For example, one punishment card might be "Draw two more cards and accept both punishments," or "Flip a coin: heads, you draw one card; tails, you draw two."

Bondage Safety

The safety aspect is very important when it comes to bondage. Always remember that if something dosnt feel safe or comfortable, then don't do it!

Make sure you know and trust your partner. Do not bully or be bullied into doing anything you don't want to.

Discuss the limits and rules first so you both know whats allowed and whats not. Agree a safeword which when said means the games must stop and the restraints be removed straight away.

Never leave a restrained person alone in a room!

Use common sense at all times and be very careful using items for uses other than they were intended for. Be careful not choke, damage skin tissue, cause breathing restrictions or cut off the circulation when restraining someone.

Do not mix drinking alcohol and bondage as common sense and resonable judgment of safety can go out the window.

Maintain rule of safe sex at all times.

 

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